


Close To You

by barbaesparza



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Amanda Rollins POV, Amanda as wingperson, Awkward Conversations, Barisi Gift Exchange 2017, Canon Non-compliant AF, Crushes, Getting Together, Innuendo, M/M, Matchmaking, Meddling, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Carisi, POV switch, Pretend Amaro is there but staying out of it, Swearing, They can't stay away from each other, Unlike Amanda, Vaguely Season 16, lack of personal space, lol, oblivious Barba, outsider pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:50:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13073397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbaesparza/pseuds/barbaesparza
Summary: Amanda notices something different. About Carisi, specifically.It takes her a while to pinpoint what it is, but when she does, she ends up having a lot of fun with it.And while she certainly has a lot of fun meddling, she eventually takes it upon herself to help Carisi out a little - he clearly needs it. It's a responsibility that she takes very seriously.





	Close To You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AHumanFemale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHumanFemale/gifts).



> Prompt: Rafael and Sonny getting called out on their lack of personal space.  
> I hope you enjoy!

It’s only a small feeling, but lately Amanda reckons there’s something different about Carisi.

At first she thinks he’s just started to chill a little. _Maybe he's just grown more comfortable with us,_ Amanda thinks. _All of us. Yeah, I definitely feel like we've grown a lot closer since he started here._

Sure. That must be it.  
He’s started to find his place within the squad.  
Well, that’s definitely true.

But Amanda doesn’t think it’s what she’s trying to figure out about him. There’s something else. Something else she can’t quite pinpoint yet. 

 

Then one day, she notices something. They’re gathered around the table in the squad room, Liv up front, Fin sitting across from Amanda and Carisi hovering. Liv is just starting up her brief when Barba walks in settling into one of the three empty seats around the table.

Carisi zones in, like a moth to a light, standing with his hip cocked next to Barba, completely ignoring the two empty seats either side of Amanda. _Rude._

Maybe it makes sense that Carisi would be eager to get close to Barba, being in law school and all. She just didn’t realize he had to get physically close in order to do that.  
Maybe Carisi is just one of those people with less of a need for personal space.  
Perhaps.

 

She notices it again when they’re sitting around waiting for lunch to be delivered. Carisi is sat on top of his desk, shooting the breeze, hands flying wildly. Barba has just joined them. Carisi’s talking, and he turns around casually to face him with an “Am I right, Counselor?” leaning in, hand on chin.

Barba doesn’t flinch. He just readily engages, and if Amanda isn’t mistaken, he’s trying very hard not to smile. His hands fidget at imaginary lint before being shoved into his pockets. Their back-and-forth continues, both of them seeming to forget about the presence of their colleagues in favor of one-upping each other.

Amanda gives Fin a look, and he gives her a pointed _What?_ look in return. She rolls her eyes.

Their food arrives, and they eat, Barba sitting down at the spare chair next to Amanda’s desk. Of course, Sonny chooses that moment to sit on a chair like a normal person, pulling his up towards Fin’s desk, conveniently close to Barba’s spot.

Amanda makes a valiant effort not to roll her eyes again.

Maybe Carisi _is_ just one of those people with less of a need for personal space.

It strikes her as odd that Barba would be the same, though. She certainly doesn’t see him complaining. Or shifting away. He never even bats an eye.

Amanda thinks she might know what’s going on here.

 

She decides to test her theory one day by getting all up in Carisi’s face. She stands close, as close as Barba does, and keeps up the eye contact as she’s trying to make her point. Carisi backs away slowly and looks at her like she’s grown three heads.

“Oh, I’m sorry, was that too close? I didn’t realize,” Amanda goads innocently, and takes an apologetic step back.

“No, no,” Carisi denies vehemently, brow furrowed in plain what-the-fuckery.

“Soooorry,” Amanda draws out in sing-song.

“It’s fine. Really,” Carisi says with a sheepish smile, but stands his ground.  

 

A few days later, Amanda’s walking out of Liv’s office with Fin when she sees Barba hanging by Carisi’s desk, where they’re having a conversation, voices lowered, and while it seems a not-unprofessional distance, they are severely angled towards each other, and the eye contact they’re giving each other? They may as well have their hands all over each other.

Frankly, it’s too much for Amanda to bear, too heavy a burden, so she turns  to point this out to Fin, who looks at her like _Don’t rope me into this shit, child._

Amanda shrugs. “I can’t be the only one seeing this,” she mutters.

Upon Fin and Amanda’s return, Barba gives them a startled but polite nod, then immediately scatters. _Well that’s subtle,_ Amanda thinks.

She buckles down to work on her database search, but she can’t help but notice the way Carisi gazes after Barba’s retreating form.

She recognizes that look. _Longing._

 

The following week, as they’re gathered around to discuss the details of a case, something happens. Something that Amanda considers quite significant.

It starts off normally. Carisi interrupts something Liv is saying, the reasoning a little iffy even in Amanda’s opinion. He rambles for about 15 seconds longer than it takes to get his point across, but it seems to Amanda that he manages to impress Barba anyway, who listens intently, not moving a single muscle until he’s finished speaking.

And then, out of nowhere… “You’re right, Carisi.”

Amanda flicks her eyes from Carisi, who blinks once, hard, to Barba, who is trying to come off all nonchalant but is actually fighting hard to keep the corner of his mouth from turning up, to Liv, looking slightly puzzled, then back to Carisi.

He visibly preens, but Barba has turned away by then, distracted by the task on hand.

Amanda smirks quietly to herself, pleased with this development.

 

An hour passes.

Amanda swears she doesn’t plan to corner Carisi in the break room to talk about his feelings.

All she wants is a cold can of soda, and Carisi just happens to be making himself a coffee at the precise moment her craving hits. That’s the story she’s sticking with.

 

“So it must feel nice, huh?

“What, Rollins,” Carisi says, as if he hadn’t just been thinking of the very thing.

“Getting such clear and obvious approval from someone you _admire_ so much.”

Carisi scoffs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Barba? _‘You’re right, Carisi’_?”

This incites a faint blush. He clears his throat. “It’s nice, sure. But it’s no big deal. I knew I was right.”

“Uh huh, uh huh.” Amanda pretends to consider this while Carisi stirs his coffee. “But… while we’re talking, you _do_ think he’s hot, right?”

Carisi splutters. “Rollins!”

Amanda shrugs innocently. “I mean, there’s gotta be a reason you hang off him like that, hm?”

“Rollins- I _don’t-”_

“Don’t you?” she says lightly.

“I don’t,” Carisi says decisively, sounding more like he’s trying to convince himself.

“Mhm. Can I just… _clarify.”_

Carisi looks at her expectantly.

“You don’t… what exactly?”

“I don’t hang off him. Rollins, I don’t,” Carisi repeats, beginning to sound like a petulant child.

“Ah. Gotcha,” Amanda grins, eyes glinting. “Well. If it makes you happy.”

Biting his lip, Carisi glares into the distance, not bothering to confirm or deny his happiness.

“You don’t hang off him,” she says slowly. “But you do think he’s hot.”

Carisi blooms a pleasant shade of pink. Bingo. “I- N-” Carisi tries to deny. Too little, too late.

“Hey! That’s totally cool! I think he’s kinda hot too, I’m not blind.”

“Really?” Carisi asks, voice small, brow furrowed.

“Sure. Just don’t wanna do him the way you do.”

Carisi narrows his eyes at her. “Hey. I never said that,” he says, sounding far more embarrassed than angry. He brings his cup of coffee to his lips as a shield.

Amanda smiles a wide, toothy grin at him which has the magical effect of making Carisi leave the room.

“Didn’t need to!” she calls after him.

 _A job well done,_ she congratulates herself, cracking open her cold-ish soda in celebration.

 

The next week passes by happily, with Amanda aiming good-natured taunts at Carisi every once in a while. She makes eyes at him when Barba’s talking, Carisi glaring back. She even whispers to him that his boyfriend’s here one day when she sees Barba sweeping in from the elevator. Carisi glowers at her as if he’s trying to quash a violent impulse within himself. She smiles sweetly and greets Barba a little too loudly.

Carisi spends the next hour shooting glares in Amanda’s direction while Amanda ignores him. He’s standing further away from Barba than usual, and _Oh crap, that isn’t what’s supposed to happen._

But there’s a moment, a moment when Barba looks up at Carisi, and there’s an unfamiliar fondness in his eyes, and more oddly, a shyness about him, because he never lets himself linger, but he can also never stay away because it happens again, and again, even though Carisi is shockingly devoid of opinions that day.

It’s clear to Amanda that Barba keeps finding excuses to steal glances at Carisi.

When Carisi finally pipes up, Amanda makes sure to observe Barba. Barba doesn’t take his eyes off Carisi for a single second, and what’s more, he smiles. Barba _smiles._ It’s a small one, but it’s unmistakable.

 _Oh God,_ she thinks. _Barba is actually in love with him._

 _What an interesting development._ This is far better than she’d originally thought.

 

The next part of her plan, if she’s admitting she has one now, proves a little more difficult. Even though she’s known Barba for longer, she’s never found much of a reason to converse with him outside of work.

When the Sergeant sends her over to Barba’s office with a file, she tries to conceal her smirk. _Perfect._

 

“Detective Rollins.”

“Evening, Counselor. I have a file for you.”

Barba beckons her in and takes the file from her with a word of thanks.

“Barba, I…”

“Yes?”

“I know you’re busy, but can I ask you a question?”

“I have a bit of time, have a seat,” he says politely.

Amanda sits, back straight and suddenly wide-eyed. Carisi is going to kill her for this.

Barba raises his eyebrows at her, waiting.

“Well, I’m sorry to just spring this on you…”

“Go on.”

“I wanted to ask you… how you feel about Carisi.”

Something in Barba’s demeanor changes. “Excuse me?”

Amanda doesn’t respond, which causes Barba to level a dull glare at her.

“What do you mean, how do I feel about him?” he questions, sounding just a touch panicky to Amanda’s ears. “He’s quickly becoming a fine detective,” he tacks on in a professional tone.

“Sure,” Amanda says, losing confidence. “I agree. But how do you feel about him… personally?”

“I- I don’t understand, Detective. Am I supposed to have any personal feelings about my colleagues?”

“Sure, no, that’s- sorry.”

Barba still looks incredibly puzzled. “Well… I suppose… if that’s all…” he says unsurely.

“Yeah… I’ll let you get back to it,” Amanda says awkwardly, standing up.

“Well, have a good evening, Rollins.”

“You too, Barba.”

 

Amanda deflates on her way back to the precinct. She had been so sure. Poor Carisi. And she had only made it worse.

 

Later that week, Amanda is sent to deliver a file to Barba’s office again, and this time she does it with dread. She’d tell Liv to send Carisi instead, but she thinks she’s tortured the poor soul enough already.

She slides in the door intending to slide straight back out, but Barba appears to have other ideas.

“Hold on,” Barba says, stopping her in her tracks.

Amanda turns back towards the desk.

“Why did you ask me that? The other day?” he asks, businesslike.

“Hmm?”

“Why did you ask… how I feel about Carisi,” Barba elaborates, avoiding eye contact, sounding almost _shy._ Could it be?

“Oh,” Amanda says, stalling for time, wondering how to tread.

“Do you not like him?”

What?

“No. I like him fine. I mean, in the beginning, I suppose… well, he’s a bit of an acquired taste, isn’t he.”

The corner of Barba’s mouth tugs upwards for half a second. “You could say that,” he says evenly. “So why do you ask?”

Amanda winces. “It’s silly.”

“Not too silly that you didn’t ask in the first place.”

“No, I suppose not…” Amanda trails off, feeling more of that dread settle in her chest.

“Do you... _like_ him?” Barba asks, far too delicately.

“Huh?” _What the fuck?_ “No,” she says with authority, and looks at Barba with great distaste.

“Oh. Good,” Barba says unthinkingly. “I mean, not good, I mean, it’s not bad.”

 _Oh my God,_ Amanda thinks. _I’ve got Barba flustered. Over Carisi._ She fistpumps mentally.

_“Oh?”_

“Thank you, Rollins. I’ll let you get back to work now,” Barba says abruptly, rifling through the papers on his desk.

“Hooooold on. Not so fast,” Amanda says with a grin.

Barba looks back up at her without blinking. “Hm?”

“Alright, I’ll tell you why I asked.”

She watches Barba’s Adam’s apple bob nervously. “Okay.”

“I just wanted to know, you know. Because he acts differently around you,” she says, choosing her words carefully.

“Does he?” Barba asks skeptically.

“Yeah, and I thought maybe you did around him too, and I- I kinda consider him a friend now, and I just wanted to, you know, make sure that I wasn’t... seeing things?”

Barba stares at her, clearly stunned.

“Say something?” she prods.

Barba opens his mouth to emit a very quiet squeak.

Amanda starts giggling but stops herself immediately. Thankfully, Barba ignores this.

“What do you mean, _differently?”_

Amanda grins. “He’s always standing next to you, haven’t you noticed? Always in each other’s bubbles. It’s kinda cute, you know?”

Barba blinks rapidly.

“Rollins. Are you _sure?”_

“Well,” Amanda answers diplomatically. “I’m sure you guys are always choosing to stand far too close to each other. Of that I am sure.”

“Sure. That doesn’t mean anything though. Does it?”

“He wants to be close to you, he’s always hanging off your every word, even lighting up when you walk in the room,” Amanda says smoothly. “Why do you think that is?”

“But-” Barba responds, still disbelieving. “Did he ever say anything to you?”

She swore she wouldn’t break Carisi’s trust to _that_ degree, so she sidesteps expertly.

“Let’s just say I’ve caught him checking out your, uh-” she clears her throat pointedly, “checking you out on more than a handful of occasions.”

And she finally got Barba to blush.

“You like him, don’t you, Counselor?”

In lieu of a response, Barba’s blush darkens.

Amanda smiles. “I can tell he likes you too. Come on, Barba, what have you got to lose?”

“Pride. Dignity. Collegial respect,” Barba deadpans.

“Pffft. Please. And those all basically mean the same thing so there’s really not that much.”

Barba fiddles with his pen for a moment.

“I’m afraid he’ll say no, Rollins,” Barba says unexpectedly, and it’s touching that he’s allowing himself to be so vulnerable in front of her, for the first time.

“He won’t. Trust me.”

Barba looks out the window thoughtfully, still doubtful.

“Promise me you’ll at least think about it.”

“I always am,” he admits, and it’s so quiet that Amanda doesn’t think she’s meant to hear it.

“Evening, Counselor,” Amanda says, standing up quietly.

“Good evening, Detective.”

 

Amanda walks out, making her way back to the precinct. She’s so excited for Carisi. Whether or not Barba actually makes a move any time soon, at least she can keep encouraging it from both sides, now that she knows they feel the same about each other.

 

“Well, you look happy,” Carisi observes.

“Do I?” _You should be happy,_ she wants to say. _I’m happy for you._

“Considerably more so than when you left,” Carisi replies with a shrug.

“Oh, I was just talking to Barba.”

_“Oh?”_

“He’s really not as scary as he seems, you know?”

Carisi blanches. “Really.”

Amanda nods perkily.

“What- uh, what were you talking to him about?”

“Oh, you know. This, that. Law, order.” She’s spitballing, but Carisi doesn’t need to know that.

“Uh huh,” Carisi says uncertainly. “Um… since when are you and Barba… open to this-that chitchat?”

“Since now,” Amanda says simply. “You want me to put in a good word for you?”

Carisi flinches. “No. _Rollins.”_

“What?” Amanda says innocently. She shrugs. “I guess you don’t need me to be your wingwoman, huh?”

“Rollins, keep your voice down.”

“What, like Fin doesn’t know? Pretty sure everyone in the precinct knows about your big ol’ crush on the good counselor.”

Carisi flushes. Poor thing, she’s really not going easy on him.

“Amanda,” Carisi warns, voice low. “You’ve gotta stop talking about this. What if it gets back to him?”

“So what? What if he has a giant crush on you too?” She gives him a look of one privy to privileged information.

Carisi scoffs. “Yeah, and what if I won the lottery today.”

“You can’t win the lottery if you never buy a ticket,” Amanda sing-songs.

“Right, I forgot about your problem, sorry.”

Amanda rolls her eyes. “It’s a metaphor, Carisi.”

“Right, so… winning the lottery is dating Barba, and… what’s buying the ticket?”

“Telling him how you feel, _obviously.”_

“I guess that’s pretty accurate. Less than one in a hundred million chance of winning.”

“Not when the odds are stacked in your favor,” Amanda continues to tease.

“You’ve gotta stop it with the gambling metaphors,” Carisi says sternly. “It can’t be good for you.”

“Oh, pshhh,” Amanda dismisses with a wave of her hand.

Carisi shoots her a sassy glare.

“Just think about the metaphor,” Amanda tells him. “I’m just sayin’.”

“God, Rollins, just tell me what you so clearly want to tell me.”

“Mmmmmm,” Amanda considers. “I dunno. I wouldn’t want to be seen as someone who can’t keep a secret.”

Carisi rolls his eyes in an elaborate fashion. “Alright, then don’t keep bringing it up.”

“Oh, come on, Carisi. It’s easy enough to figure out, isn’t it?”

“Sometimes I don’t even think we’re speaking the same language.”

Amanda sighs impatiently. “Fine. Don’t tell him I said this, but I think he’s interested.”

“In what?”

“You, dummy.”

“Pffft. You’re just saying that. You just looove playing the wingwoman, don’t you? What made you this way?”

“And I would like to ask you what made you so blind to clear romantic interest?”

“Clear, schmear. He fucking hates me, Rollins.”

Amanda’s eyes grow wide as she watches Barba approach their desks. They’d been so engrossed in their… discussion... that neither of them had seen him walk in.

“Who could hate _you,_ Detective?”

Carisi freezes. Amanda would be laughing now if she didn’t feel so sorry for the poor guy. And it was kind of her fault. Again.

“Uh,” Amanda says quickly. “My friend. Dave.” A poor save, but Barba appears to at least pretend to buy it.

“Huh. His loss,” Barba says nonchalantly, sweeping his way to Liv’s office.

As soon as they’re out of his field of vision, Amanda gestures emphatically towards Liv’s door with an open palm. “See?”

Carisi sinks his head into his arms with a groan. “It was nice knowing you, Rollins.”

“Cheer up, Carisi, he obviously doesn’t hate you.”

“Right. You know what, I’m gonna… go cry in the break room. Call me if you need me.”

“Wh- Carisi!”

Carisi trudges away without sparing a further glance back.

 

She gives him a moment or two and then goes to check on him.

“H- I’m fine, Rollins. I’m not actually crying. I just… really feel like it.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve-”

“It’s not your fault.” Carisi smiles hopelessly. “I was bound to make a fool of myself anyway.”

“You’re not a fool, Carisi,” Amanda comforts, patting him on the shoulder.

She sincerely hopes for Carisi’s sake that Barba can hurry up and put a smile back on his face.

“Thanks, Amanda. Don’t worry, I’m fine. I’ll come out when he leaves.”

Amanda nods, still concerned, but gives him his space.

 

A shadow falls over Amanda's desk. She looks up to find Barba stopped there after coming out of Liv’s office.

“Rollins,” he says. “Who is this… _Dave?”_ His mouth forms around the name with severe distaste.

Amanda snorts. “Oh, don’t you worry, Counselor. There is no Dave.”

Barba raises his eyebrows. “You made him up? An imaginary friend, Detective?”

Amanda says nothing.

“So who were you actually talking about?”

Amanda keeps her silence, which apparently speaks volumes.

“You were talking about me.”

“Uh…”

Barba’s face falls. “How can he think that?”

Amanda feels for the man in that moment, she really does.

“But…” he splutters. “Every second I spend around him, I have to restrain myself from making moon eyes at him. I can barely ever take my eyes off him.”

“Well maybe you’ve been restraining yourself a little too hard, if you know what I mean? I mean, _you_ didn’t even know Carisi liked you, and I gotta say - as an impartial observer he’s a _lot_ more obvious than you are, Counselor.”

Barba huffs.

“I think you’d better do something about it, don’t you?”

Barba hums indecisively.

“Dave’s loss, your gain?”

She probably deserves the scoff he gives her at that.

She lets out a short sigh. “You can’t let him keep thinking you hate him, can you?”

“No,” Barba admits. “I don’t want that.”

“Great,” Amanda says, patting Barba lightly on the elbow. “Glad we had this talk.”

Barba nods weakly, traipsing out of the bullpen with uncertainty in his step.

 

Carisi pokes his head around the corner.

“Is he gone?” he whispers.

“I wish your morals allowed eavesdropping, Carisi.”

Carisi takes his place at his desk, casting Amanda a quizzical look.

Amanda sighs dreamily. “Ah, to be loved.”

“Look, whatever, Rollins. I’ve had enough of this- whole… thing.”

Amanda doesn’t push it. Her work here is done. All she has to do is sit back and wait.

“Sure. We don’t have to talk about it. Just try not to take this so hard, hm? Especially when he actually basically said he likes you.”

Carisi groans. “Okay, _maybe_ he doesn’t hate me, but, call me pathetic? I just really wish he’d _like_ me like me. But it’s way too much to hope for,” he says sadly, the frustration in his tone seeping off towards the end.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Carisi. Y’all need to talk to each other. There’s clearly a gross misunderstanding going on here.”

Carisi shakes his head profusely. “It’d be too embarrassing. It’s already too embarrassing.”

Amanda tilts her head at him. “So you want this guy to be your boyfriend, but you won’t talk to him. Okay.”

Carisi pouts, unable to refute either part of the statement.

“Shit, I wonder how you’ve ever managed to land a date with anyone at all.”

“Shut up, Rollins. Let me be socially and emotionally incompetent.”

Amanda shrugs, letting go of the conversation for the time being.

 

Amanda, or rather, Carisi, doesn’t have to wait long.

Barba makes another appearance as they’re getting ready to go home for the night, and Amanda thinks it might be a record for number of times he’s visited the precinct in one day.

She had just about been ready to turn off her laptop and pack up. Instead, she lingers, pulling up a witness statement and ‘checking’ it. Her eyes flick intermittently towards the corner where Barba has pulled Carisi over, telling him something in a hushed voice. She grins in anticipation.

 

“Carisi, a word?”

“I-”

“Please?”

Carisi nods, and follows Barba to a quiet spot.

“I- I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it.”

Carisi says nothing, his face flooded with fear and concern.

Barba takes a steadying breath. “I… well, I was speaking with Rollins, and-”

“Oh, great-”

“And what she said led me to hope… that perhaps you might return my feelings.” It comes out in a rush, spoken at Carisi’s shoulder.

Carisi’s face clears, as Barba sees when he finally looks up. “Feelings?”

“Yes,” Barba says quietly. “I have feelings. For you.”

“Oh.” Carisi’s eyes widen before he breaks into a pleased smile. “I thought-”

“That I hate you?” Barba smiles ruefully, shaking his head. “I could never. And I’m sorry for ever making you think that.”

“Oh, that’s good, because… I do.” Carisi bites his lip.

Barba keeps watching him expectantly.

“Return your feelings, I mean,” Carisi clarifies with a bashful smile. “I thought you knew.”

“Well, you never said.” Barba’s voice is tender.

“I thought you knew, and didn’t return mine, but were just too professional to tell me to back off.”

“Oh.” Barba frowns thoughtfully before his lips morph into a mischievous smirk. “I’m not that professional.”

“How so?” Carisi leans back, curious.

“Would a professional do this?” Barba asks, inching forward to crowd Carisi’s space, reaching up a tentative hand to place lovingly against Carisi’s neck. Carisi’s lips part at the contact, eyes locked onto Barba’s. He shifts almost imperceptibly so that their bodies are almost touching. Barba hovers, his lips a breath away from Carisi’s, wanting to give him a chance to pull away.

Carisi doesn’t, instead smiling as he tugs on Barba’s tie, bringing their lips together in one blissful movement.

 

As they part, Sonny’s still in shock, but he knows that if it’s possible, he doesn’t ever want to not be kissing Barba. So he takes the opportunity to press their lips together again, this time letting his hands roam all over, pulling him in even closer than before. Barba responds with a hand on Sonny’s jaw, pushing him against the wall and tilting his head so he can taste more, feel more.

They’re interrupted by a lone whoop coming from the cluster of desks. It seems they hadn’t been quite as out of sight as they’d imagined.

They break apart reluctantly, both drawing in a quick breath.

 

Rafael licks his lips, cheeks pink, flicking his gaze towards Rollins and doing his best to give her an unimpressed look.

When he looks back at Carisi, he finds lust, wonder, disbelief and hope.

“Have dinner with me, Detective,” Rafael asks, his hand trailing gently down Carisi’s arm.

“I’d love to.” Carisi smiles, leaning in to give Rafael another quick kiss, even though he knows Rollins can see them.

With a dazed grin, Rafael takes Carisi’s hand boldly as they walk back towards the desks.

Rollins smirks at them, unable to contain her glee.

“Alright. Good night,” Carisi tells her nonchalantly as he gathers his things.

He swings his bag over his shoulder and nudges into Rafael, linking their hands back together.

Rafael allows himself to lose himself in Carisi’s eyes for a moment before tearing his gaze away to say goodbye to Detective Rollins, who’s still looking at them with a knowing smile.

“Good evening, Detective,” Rafael says evenly. _“And thank you,”_ he mouths.

“Anytime, Counselor. You two enjoy your night now, won’t you?”

Rafael smiles back sheepishly while Carisi shoots daggers at her.

 

Dinner passes by quickly, punctuated with timid looks and sweet talk. Sonny can’t help but be surprised by how not weird this all feels. They eat, a lot, and for one of only a handful of times in his life, Sonny orders dessert not because he wants it, but so that he can sit there a while longer with Barba.

 

They walk out of the restaurant, hand in hand, and Sonny thinks he can feel a faint buzz in the air.

He keeps sneaking glances at Barba as they walk, but he needn’t have tried to hide it, because Barba’s eyes meet his every time.

They stop at the curb to wait for their cab, and Barba doesn’t let go of his hand. Instead, he turns towards Sonny, catching his other hand in his, and kisses him sweetly. They sigh against each other, and Sonny feels something settle pleasantly within his chest.

They’re both smiling as their eyes flutter open, and if Sonny thought he’d be able to breathe soon, he hadn’t counted on the pure joy he sees emanating from Barba in that moment.

“Does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?” Sonny asks, ducking his head, cheeks tinged with pink.

“Yes,” Barba says simply.

Sonny had expected some smartass answer. He likes this better.

He smiles. “Wow. I could pinch myself.”

“And you’re mine?”

Sonny places a hand on Rafael’s cheek. “I’m yours, Rafael.”

Rafael glows. “I’d have never thought it possible,” he admits quietly.

“Well,” Sonny responds. “I have plenty of time to get you to believe it, don’t I?”

“That you do,” Rafael says. “Make me a believer, Sonny,” he jokes.

“I _have_ got a _few_ ideas,” Sonny says coyly.

“Oh?”

“We can start with continuing what we were doing earlier,” Sonny suggests, smiling shyly. “You know, back at the precinct?”

Rafael smirks, eyes sweeping downwards. “You’re full of good ideas, aren’t you?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” Sonny says, waggling his eyebrows.

“I believe we will.” Rafael smiles softly, shifting to hold onto Sonny’s waist, head tilting to rest comfortably on his shoulder as they wait.

 

When the cab arrives, Rafael holds the door open for Sonny, who gives him an amused smile as he enters, then climbs in after him. He pauses for two seconds before scooting up to the middle seat. Sonny grins and puts an arm around him, kissing the top of his head.

Rafael sinks into Sonny with a contented sigh.

He doesn’t know how he ever managed to stay away.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from (They Long To Be) Close To You by The Carpenters.  
> Thank you so much for reading, I'd love to know what you think! <3  
> (I can only apologise for the awkward POV changes :P)


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